Most, if not all, of my creative ideas stay just that, ideas. If I come up with something I think is new, I talk about it, plan it, maybe sketch it but then, if I see someone else has done it, I drop it. Just like that.
It started with the house that Bob built (I know, right?), and I planned to tile the backsplash. I did my research, collected pre-made bisque form tiles, dipped them in white glaze, and sketched some designs. I didn’t yet understand that all designs are borrowed from somewhere (more on that later). I had a unique take on sunflowers (yellow counters) but turns out they were becoming a thing, so I dropped that idea. I remember toying with tessellations, but nothing struck me like the droopy, straight-lined design I first created. I couldn’t do something seemingly already done, so I did nothing. I was stuck. (Think 20 years later, I still have the box of tiles.- I painted on faux tiles before selling the house.)
This comparison has stopped more of my creative ideas than I can recount, and I’m sure it’ll be a recurring theme, if this is any reflection of my life at all!
Not unlike the tiles, writing a blog has been a long time in coming…. Probably since Julie & Julia! I asked my kids to set me up, I talked it over with friends and then I approached a couple people who encouraged me with “I’d read it” and “You’d be good at that”. I’m not so sure about that, but sadly, it was what I needed to begin. I’m not sure I’m doing it right, I’m not looking at other ‘sunflowers’, because I know blogging is a thing. But it is here that I will begin, without reference, in a Word document.
I’m a verbal processor. Well there’s that and a good friend once nicknamed me Annie, for my need to analyse things into the ground. Why? I have no idea… but I suspect it has more to do with an inner need to synthesize, make connections, make sense of the world, find common ground, well, you get the picture. THAT’S my real passion. Especially in terms of people, how we tick, probably started with how I tick!
If I had a personal mantra, I know friends and family have heard me say, at nauseum perhaps, “It’s all about relationships.” And okay I’ve taken it a bit far, referring to the relationships I see in day to day (nature mostly) to explain/ understand human nature, but still they’re my thots (my spelling), I’m sticking to them.
So the wonderful thing about blogging, I suspect, is (and not in any particular order), a) I hear Julie’s voice in my head as I write which helps me feel entitled to proceed (beware of outdated references), b) I’ve worn out my friends and need a new audience. They can choose to read or not and I won’t be affected by their yawn. And c) I just gotta get this stuff out of my head! If it’s floating around cyberspace and not landing anywhere, I’m trusting there’s room.
As I start a new Middle School teaching position in a month, the timing of writing this may parallel never cooking more than in university when a paper was due, but alas, I begin..
If you can tolerate the overuse of the comma, a love for italics and an aversion to parenthetical overuse, or you too ponder the connectedness of the world, or even the joys of chickens, gardening and middle schoolers, I’d love to dialogue with you further. If comparison has shut you down, I’d love to hear more. I must say tho, I’m a little concerned about the one way communication of blogging. There will be a comment section, right? Clearly it’s time to sign off and do some research on how to throw these ideas out there, hoping maybe, just maybe my thots will resonate with someone.